Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?
When I walk into my house for a few days after I have made sauce, I am transported back to my childhood and the comforting feeling of home associated with that smell. I am a third generation American born Sicilian. My great grandparents immigrated to America from Sicily in the early 1900’s. With that said, every Sunday during my childhood we had sauce. To us, sauce means a pot of tomato sauce simmered with spices for several hours with meatballs and the pasta of the cook’s choice. Sometimes it was spaghetti, sometimes rigatoni. On a special occasion it was ravioli or stuffed shells. So many of my cherished childhood memories are of watching my grandmothers make sauce. As an adult when I make sauce, in my heart I know my grandmothers are there with me.
One of my all time favorite moments was the moment my children met each other for the first time. I was still in the hospital recovering from a repeat c-section to deliver my daughter only the day before. My husband brought our newly turned three year old son to the hospital meet his baby sister. I was sitting in a chair holding my daughter so that her head was resting on my knees and her feet were touching my belly. I told my son what my daughter’s name was as he approached me. When he greeted her with his little boy voice and called her by her name, she turned her head towards his voice. It was amazing. Their instant bonding was a foreshadowing of what was to come for them as siblings. Almost 22 years later they still have a bond that cannot be broken. They enjoy each other’s company. They always have each other’s backs. They each have the complete opposite personalities but that works to their advantage when one of them has an issue, the other one gives a fresh perspective. My son is the epitome of a good big brother. When my daughter fell and scraped her knee he’d ask for a bandage for her. When she was afraid of people in scary costumes as a child, he’d reassure her that she was safe. When she played her trumpet in her final concert of eighth grade, he had flowers for her. When she’d start a new school; middle school, high school and college, he’d take her on a tour before school started so she’d know her way around when school started. She attends the same university he graduated from because she liked what the school had to offer. He’s always been there for her and she for him. Sure they bicker and get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are still thick as thieves. I could go on all day about them but I’ll just leave you with the picture.
Feeling vulnerable, I stood there in the diagnostic room in my scrub pants and a hospital gown open to the front. I left work early today to drive to this notable event and my scrub pants were the only part of this moment that made me feel normal. In mammograms they position the breast appropriately and then they crank that tit smasher machine tighter and tighter until you think your tit might actually pop. First they smashed my left breast from the mediolateral view (side view). Next, they smashed it from craniocaudal (top to bottom view). After that I’m escorted back to the dressing room with the rest of my belongings. “We’ll wait for the radiologist to read this”, they said. A few minutes later my left breast was back in the tit smasher for round two with the same views. Afterwards, I was back in my dressing room a second time. I pondered whether they would go for round three of a mammogram or do an ultrasound? Would my life change after today? I tried to imagine what some my patients with serious diagnoses go through when I prep them for surgery. They stare off into space. They act upbeat and ok but I know inside they are not ok. I try to distract them from their troubles with various conversation starters. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t work I give them the space they need to process what is happening to them. The next diagnostic for me after the two mammograms was an ultrasound. I held my breath with every notation made, every measurement, every click of the keyboard, every facial expression of the ultrasound tech. The ultrasound tech gathered all of the views she needed and went to get the radiologist. The radiologist entered the room with a smile. “You have benign cysts right next to each other, let’s take another look”, she said as she ran the ultrasound over me one last time and told me there was no evidence of cancer. I was then escorted back to my dressing room so I could get dressed and leave. As a nurse, having had some of my own health scares has given me a fresh perspective on what patients need from us. With gratitude and relief, I got dressed and left there with a little more wisdom than I came in with.
Hands down my dream chocolate bar is Hershey’s milk chocolate. Answering this prompt was a perfect excuse for me to eat one today. I like Hershey’s milk chocolate because putting a piece of that chocolate on my tongue and tasting it as it dissolves into my watering mouth gives me a feeling of euphoria that turns my frown upside down. It is almost as if my body knows when it needs Hershey milk chocolate bar. There’s another reason Hershey’s milk chocolate is my favorite; because my Nana Ida always had them for us. My paternal grandmother, who we called Nana Ida always had a stash of candy in her china cabinet. She’d have hard candy, Brach’s Royals and a variety of Hershey’s. As a young child when I would spend the night with Nana Ida and Papa Charlie, it was a special treat when Nana Ida would break a Hershey bar up piece by piece and share it with me. After she died, the nine of us, all of her grandchildren nick named the candy she used to have as “Ida candy.” It goes without saying that I think of Nana Ida every time I bite into a Hershey’s because I know she’s smiling down on my enjoying one too.
Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.
The simple thing that I do that brings joy to my life is reading. When life gets crazy I can always rely on a good book to take me away. I read everyday. I enjoy reading because it takes my mind and my imagination to different times, places and experiences. It’s my favorite past time. I can easily spend hours in a bookstore or library. When I’m interested in a particular subject I read read read all about it until I’ve had my fill. There have been times when I’m so engrossed in a book, it consumes me to the point that I feel incapacitated until I finish it. I’ve been known to read a book in a day. I like that about me. I remember precisely when I declared myself a reader. I was in fourth grade. We were doing the end of the year standardized testing. My teacher permitted us to choose a book from the bookshelf in the classroom when we were finished with our test each day. Because I was in fourth grade, I chose Takes of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume. Each day I looked forward to returning to that book until I finished it. There was no turning back after that book. I knew I would be a lifelong reader. When I was a junior in high school I was being punished one weekend and not allowed to go out with my friends. I had just started reading Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger in my English class and I was enjoying it so I had no problem staying in my room. To this day I still laugh to myself that my parents gave me the wrong punishment. To punish me would have been to take the book away. The only time period in my life I didn’t read was when I was in college studying to become a nurse. There wasn’t enough time in a day or room in my head for anything else. After I graduated and passed my RN exam I returned to reading. For the past several years I’ve joined the yearly reading challenges on the Goodreads app. On Goodreads you can see what other people are reading and make lists of books you’ve read. I read the number of books per year that is equivalent to my age. I enjoy fiction, historical fiction, beach reads, autobiographies, daily devotionals, books about spirituality and Catholicism and most recently poetry. When I see a young child enjoying a book I’m excited that their lifetime of reading has junior begun. When I see someone reading a book in a public place, I’m happy for them. When someone tells me their love of reading began during their adulthood I’m proud of them. My favorite people to talk about books with are my patients. If I see a book amongst their possessions I ask them about it. It passes the time for them, distracts them from their troubles and I enjoy hearing about what people read. I could go on and on but my book is waiting. “Books are a uniquely portable magic.” Stephen King
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