thatnursewrites

Pre-Empty Nesting

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

I remember one positive thing about the quarantine in 2020 was that it was a perfect time for my husband and to spend with our adult kids. The kids were annoyed of course that they were trapped in the house and my daughter even said we will be able to see the tire tracks from her Jeep when they lifted the quarantine. My daughter was a senior in high school, my son a senior in college. We knew we would never get time like this again so we embraced it. We cooked good food, watched movies and played games.

Four years later my daughter is about to graduate from college and move 2.5 hours away. My son is applying for the final portion of his educational journey and has another year left at home.

So we will be empty nesters. While I am excited for them and very proud, I know that times are a changing. How will I adjust?

My Ideal Day

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

My ideal day would be waking up feeling refreshed and energized without feeling stiff or in pain. I would get out of my head and silence my overthinking. It would be a day where I didn’t feel worried about something or insecure or afraid. Nothing would annoy me or irritate me. I would just float through the day full of joy without a care in the world.

14 Hours

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

It was 27 years ago and the road trip of my life. I remember my husband and I overslept that day. My parents fed us breakfast, helped us pack the car and pushed us out the door so swiftly that I didn’t even have time to think about the fact that I was about to leave home.

It was a fourteen hour drive from the state where I was living with my parents to the state where my husband and I would be begin our married life. I don’t remember where we stopped or what we talked about. What I do remember was realizing that I would have to unpack, write thank you notes for wedding gifts and find a job because I was finally a grown up.

Gifts from Italy

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

My grandma went to Rome in 1973. She brought home a gold cross and necklace for me that was blessed by Pope Paul VI. It was a connection to God and to my grandmother and my most cherished material possession.

On September 1, 2009 a 17 year old boy who lived around the block from us thought it was a good idea to move our grill to use it to climb up and enter our second floor bedroom window to burglarize our home. He stole that necklace, other jewelry and some electronics and cash. My then 11 year old son came home from school to discover that our home had been burglarized. Fortunately the burglar was long gone by the time my son returned home from school.

The burglar and his counterpart did get busted, tried as adults and punished. It took 16 months to go to court. Fortunately the judge made a fool out of him in the courtroom.

The punishment those boys received was bullshit probation and will never suffice the emotional damage that was done to my husband and I and our two children. It gave us an added sense of awareness that only victims of a crime could have.

My grandma passed away four months after the burglary. She had dementia so she never knew about the necklace being stolen. I know she would be more concerned about our safety than the necklace though.

The burgler is living his best life as if nothing happened. I pray that karma finds him.

Just give me a Jeep

What is your all time favorite automobile?

I have been a Jeep chick since January of 1996 and in no way is that depressing. Nurses don’t get snow days so I like a trusty Jeep. Plus I am still driving a manual transmission. My dad once asked me when I am going to buy a grown up car. The answer was on the first day of never.

My first Jeep vehicle was a 1996 Jeep Cherokee Sport which I named Jasper. I special order purchased it 20 months after graduating from nursing school. It was moss green with a tan interior.

My second Jeep vehicle was an Atlantic Blue 2006 Jeep Liberty. Also named Jasper but my daughter changed the name to Charlie when I gave it to her. I purchased this one in fall 2005. I told the dealer if he wanted to sell me a car he should find me a manual transmission and he did. I taught both of my kids how to drive a manual transmission in this car and gave it to my daughter after she got her license. My daughter had a fender bender in fall 2022 at 5mph, she didn’t even have her foot off the clutch and it was totaled. Literally only the fender was damaged. After having that old Jeep for 17 years it was hard to let that one go but I know it was God’s way of showing me my daughter needed a more reliable vehicle.

My current Jeep which I call my midlife crisis car is a 2011 Jeep Wrangler. I call this guy Maverick. He’s sexy and rugged and I love driving him.

All three of these vehicles have gotten me to and from work safely in terrible weather. I could care less about bells and whistles and fancy schmancy sports cars. Just give me a Jeep so I can go to work.

Memories of my Grandma at Christmas

I may be the middle aged wife, mother, nurse and woman of the house but on Christmas I still feel like little Jenny, that American born Sicilian girl, growing up in Buffalo, New York.

As I write this, Barbra Streisand’s version of My Favorite Things echoes in my mind. My dad is a huge Babs fan so that Barbra Streisand’s 1967 Christmas album was frequently played in our home.

My heart yearns for my Grandma every year at Christmas time. Widowed in her late 40’s after my grandfather’s sudden death three years before my birth, my maternal grandmother lived with us until she remarried when I was a teenager.

Granny was a devout Catholic and she was a great influence on my early life as a Catholic. We would go to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve with her and because of that I do not feel complete on Christmas without attending midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. She cried every year at Christmas Eve midnight Mass because when she was only nine years old her own mother died of a heart attack while walking home from Christmas Eve Mass in the snow.

In my mind I still see Granny waiting at the bottom of the steps for my brother and I on Christmas morning. She would quietly lead us to the beautifully lit Christmas tree while we waited for our parents to wake up.

Even through her own heartbreak she poured her love into everything she did for us and she always made Christmas special. I will carry that with me forever.

1970

Share what you know about the year you were born.

I love the year that I was born because it’s the beginning of a decade.

The Vietnam War continued to rage on in 1970. Thank you to all men and women who served. 🇺🇸

The Jackson 5 was introduced on American Band Stand. The Beatles broke up. My husband was born. Apollo 13 attempted to fly their mission but couldn’t go to the moon because of an oxygen tank explosion. The first Earth Day is celebrated. Elton John performs in the United States for the first time. Christine Perfect (Christine McVie) joins Fleetwood Mac. (I love Fleetwood Mac) Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin died of drug overdoses. The 1970 Thundering Herd Marshall University Football team was killed in a plane crash. PBS becomes a network. The Ford Pinto is introduced.

In my personal history, my great grandparents were Sicilian immigrants. The last of them, my dad’s maternal grandmother died months before I was born but she did know my parents were expecting.

My dad received his draft notice for Vietnam when my mom was pregnant with me. He would spend six years in the Army National Guard and miss my birth because he was in basic training. My mom threw my grandmas out of her room when she was in labor because they were driving her crazy. My Papa Charlie was smoking cigarettes in the waiting room.

Hey Bear

Do you ever see wild animals?

For the past 11 years my husband, our two children and our dog have vacationed in a mountain lake town. This summer, one night after supper my kids returned from walking our dog and announced they had seen a bear digging into the trash down the street. My daughter didn’t want any part of going back outside but my husband, son and I rushed back out down the road to get a closer look. We were probably within 30-40 yards of the bear. We carefully backed away and decided to return to the cabin when the bear noticed us, straightened its body and glanced in our direction.

The next morning, my husband discovered the bear on the bottom deck of the cabin walking up the stairs. He was coming up the steps. We stood there quietly to observe it. It was thrilling to be so close to a wild animal like that.

My Pet Peeves

Name your top three pet peeves.

Wow, this is a loaded question. Here we go.

1. People who waste my time. My time is precious. Please be considerate.

2. Loud chewing. If my brain tunes into it during a meal it makes me crazy inside.

3. Excessive talking. There are people in this world who don’t realize when others don’t want to talk.

At work:

Patients who tell me they are a hard stick the minute I walk into their room for the first time. It sets a negative tone.

Having a pet

What is good about having a pet?

For me the best things about having a pet are love, loyalty, companionship and commitment. When shopping for a pet, it has been said that the animal picks the person. I remember seeing my dog on petfinder. He definitely picked me. It was his eyes that told me he felt sad, rejected and vulnerable. I couldn’t stop wondering why this 2 1/2 year old miniature poodle was surrendered. I knew I wanted him. So we brought him home and it was one of the best decisions my family of four has ever made. We each have our unique relationship with him. Eleven years later he still makes me smile. He still fills me with joy and love. He still completes me. He’s one of the great loves of my life.