A Smashing Day-A notable event.

Feeling vulnerable, I stood there in the diagnostic room in my scrub pants and a hospital gown open to the front. I left work early today to drive to this notable event and my scrub pants were the only part of this moment that made me feel normal. In mammograms they position the breast appropriately and then they crank that tit smasher machine tighter and tighter until you think your tit might actually pop. First they smashed my left breast from the mediolateral view (side view). Next, they smashed it from craniocaudal (top to bottom view). After that I’m escorted back to the dressing room with the rest of my belongings. “We’ll wait for the radiologist to read this”, they said. A few minutes later my left breast was back in the tit smasher for round two with the same views. Afterwards, I was back in my dressing room a second time. I pondered whether they would go for round three of a mammogram or do an ultrasound? Would my life change after today? I tried to imagine what some my patients with serious diagnoses go through when I prep them for surgery. They stare off into space. They act upbeat and ok but I know inside they are not ok. I try to distract them from their troubles with various conversation starters. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t work I give them the space they need to process what is happening to them. The next diagnostic for me after the two mammograms was an ultrasound. I held my breath with every notation made, every measurement, every click of the keyboard, every facial expression of the ultrasound tech. The ultrasound tech gathered all of the views she needed and went to get the radiologist. The radiologist entered the room with a smile. “You have benign cysts right next to each other, let’s take another look”, she said as she ran the ultrasound over me one last time and told me there was no evidence of cancer. I was then escorted back to my dressing room so I could get dressed and leave. As a nurse, having had some of my own health scares has given me a fresh perspective on what patients need from us. With gratitude and relief, I got dressed and left there with a little more wisdom than I came in with.

Author: jachristofersen8

Registered Nurse. Aspiring Writer. View all posts by jachristofersen8