Seasons of Change

I spotted my daughter from thirty yards away.  She was standing in a circle with her friends and she was smiling. She didn’t see me yet so I studied her face. Her face is round with high cheekbones and full oval lips. Her eyes are ice blue and they look even bluer when she has her navy marching band uniform on. She’s beautiful. I’m so grateful that she still comes to me for hugs and I cherish her little giggle when she nestles her face between my neck and collarbone.  Some days she’s so sweet and we click, yet other days her words sting and we throw daggers at each other. I know my mouth was no picnic to my parents when I was a teenager so I pick my battles.

Finally she looks up and sees me staring at her. She smiles at me. Her smile makes me smile. With her eyes, she motions for me to approach her. I walked over to her and as I’d done many times before, I grasped her white gloved hand. It was always our special moment to grasp hands before she took the field in a marching band competition. I looked into her clear blue eyes. We didn’t have to speak, her eyes told me everything, “Mom I’m scared about this performance and the upcoming change”. My eyes responded, “I know baby. Go out there and play with your heart and it will all fall into place. It’s healthy, you’ll see”.  In our hearts, we both knew this was the end. There would never be another day like this. This was the end and it hurt.

Moments later, four chaperone band moms (my friends)  and myself, the nurse, escorted this marching band into the University of Maryland Stadium for Regional Championships. We always had such a great sense of pride as parents escorting them into stadiums, supporting this marching band and being in their presence. These musicians, our children played their hearts out.

Season change, people change and believe it or not, so do high school marching bands. Days after this picture was taken at the final competition, it was announced that this marching band would no longer compete through USBANDS. The band directors have decided to march the band in a different direction, literally. Next year they will continue to perform half time shows but they will transform from being a competitive field show band and become a parade band. Most of the band was upset to hear this news. Some cried. Some stormed out of the band room. Some planned on quitting. As for my daughter, her heart has been with that marching band since she was in fifth grade, the year my son began high school and entered that band. She’s a little upset too but her ability to think outside of the box will come in handy when changes are made to this band and I know she’ll go with the flow.

When I asked my daughter if we could take a picture of our hand grasp she agreed immediately, no questions asked. For me, it was a two part reason. The final marching band field show competition and something deeper. As a parent, it’s about finding common threads and establishing bonds with our children during each phase of their lives. It’s about sharing special moments like a hand grasp that they can remember and take with them throughout their lives. It’s about teaching them everything we know about life before they spread their wings and leave the nest. It’s about putting your own needs aside to tend to theirs. It’s about giving them your time.  It’s about accepting their coming of age and embracing it.

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Reset and The Nursing Process

Reset and the Nursing Process

Reset is a word I hear often. The high school marching band that my son spent four years with and that my daughter will enter her second year is a field show marching band. Each year they have a different theme, music and show. It is exciting to see the creativity of the show play out onto the field as the band comes together and evolves throughout the season. They begin band camp in the worst heat of late July. They spend long days marching on the field and playing music to rehearse the show over and over again. When the band director determines they need improvement on something, he calls, “Reset”. Last year, every time the band director called reset, one of the senior boys would respond with great enthusiasm, “I love reset”. At first it got on my nerves but then it began to resonate with me. I realized that it was his way of being positive to do what he needed to do to help the band get the show right.

With that said, what exactly does the word reset mean? According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word “RESET” is defined as, “To set again or begin anew”.

So, how can we apply the word “reset” to our daily lives? How do we reset our attitudes when work days are often shit shows due to staffing, family life is so busy you don’t know if you should identify with the energizer bunny or Judy the Hyperactive Brownie (played by Gilda Radner on SNL) or both.

I have a coworker who posts funny things on social media when her feisty three-year old daughter has a meltdown. Recently she posted that during one of her meltdowns her daughter said, “I just can’t deal with it”. I snicker to myself every now and then about that post because it’s so true. I know that when I feel like throwing myself on the ground because I, “just can’t deal with it”, it’s time for a reset.

Ironically sometimes it’s nursing that plays a role in my need for a reset yet it’s nursing that helps implement the reset. The American Nurses Association describes the Nursing Process as “the essential core of practice for the registered nurse to deliver holistic, patient focused care”. So as nurses who care for patients, why not use the nursing process to care for our selves? Self care is essential for every human being.

  1. Assess: collect psychological and physiological data about yourself: I’m tired and crabby. My temper has become short and I become anxious when something unexpected arises and I have a problem to solve. I need a lot of self talk to be able to accomplish daily tasks. My body is demonstrating signs of stress; heartburn, neck and back tension. Sometimes I wake up during the night and worry about things.
  2. Diagnose: I need a break. I need a reset.
  3. Planning: What things can I do to put a smile on my face again, to feel at peace and to get myself out of this rut?
  4. Implement: Carry out your plans
  5. Evaluate: How did that work? What would you keep? What would you do differently?

I usually require a reset twice a year; after the school year and after the holidays as the new year approaches. This year was no different. By the end of June I knew my attitude was in the toilet and it was time for a reset. I held on by a thread until we left for the lake.

I didn’t just use our lake vacation to be away from home, work and the challenges of daily life. I used it to reset. I spent time with my family doing fun activities. We ate all of our favorite lake foods. I ate ice cream everyday. I dug my feet into the earth for many minutes at a time to clear my Root Chakra. I meditated. I wrote. I read. I slept. I took vitamins. I got my 10,000 in steps each day in a new scenery that wasn’t sterile hallways of a hospital. I sat outside just to “be” and listened to boats passing by and birds chirping. We hiked. I didn’t think about our life at home, I only focused on recharging my battery and not what I had to go home to or what my fall is going to be like. I made a conscious effort to be present. I am at peace. I am now reset.

I highly recommend a reset to anyone who feels like throwing themselves on the ground and having a temper tantrum like a toddler because they “just can’t deal with it”. Don’t worry, it happens to all of us. Take care of yourselves. Everyone needs a reset. Reset. Reset. I love reset.

Just in case your are curious, the ice cream flavors I ate were: Cake batter, grape sherbet, black raspberry, chocolate, maple walnut. cotton candy, berger cookie.